My name is the Hebrew equivalent of the name Joy. The Hebrew-English dictionaries my elementary school had students purchase translated my name as gay. After seeing this, the other students in my year began relentlessly teasing me, choosing to use the word gay as being indicative of my sexual orientation rather than understanding it as being a synonym for joyful.

This was the first time I had been teased in a way that hurt, the first time I received a label considered unacceptable in many communities. I had always been tall for my age growing up, and there were jokes about that, but no one uses height to define a person. People don’t discriminate against tall people or attribute certain traits to them.

That wasn’t and isn’t the case with using the word gay to describe someone. I hated that people had taken my name, something that I loved because I was so pleased that my parents had named me in such a spot on manner, and twisted it into something I only knew of as wrong at that age.

I’m a gender, an age, a religion, a nationality, a race and a sexuality. None of these things, however, are labels I like to use for myself or for others. Labels do little more than engender stereotypes, force people into insular communities, and create friction between people of competing labels. 

People are so much more than the sex they were born with, the years they’ve been on the planet, the religion they may or may not have chosen for themselves, the place they’re from, the colour of their skin and the people they’re attracted to. People are kind, thoughtful, smart, caring, quirky, abrupt, snarky, curious, philosophical, nurturing, infuriating, incorrigible, and a million other adjectives. 

The first significant friend I made after starting at college was a bisexual, Hispanic, Catholic girl. Those are the labels many see. I see her as someone who gave me copies of her favorite books to read all the time, a girl who picked up a cup of coffee for me on her way to our shared early-morning class, and someone who made me laugh.

Since then, I’ve made many friends. I could call them Muslims, Christians, or Jews. I could call them guys or girls, straight or gay, black or white. Those wouldn’t do them justice though. 

I wish society as a whole would choose to address people not as labels in the way they’re used today. I wish people would focus instead on what the person was actually like.

Instead of focusing on labels, I so wish people would just be love. Be appreciative and thankful. Pass on positive affirmations. Be conscious of the way things actually are and not the way you were told things are. 

I am absolutely not saying that framing things positively with labels based on traits will somehow fix everything. Referring to a terrorist who kills because of their faith as a someone faithful does not excuse their behavior, but taking away the label that the person’s nationality/religion/etc gives that person takes away people’s ability to persecute groups as a whole based on that label. 

The unfortunate reality of the current is a result of learned behavior. If we change the phrasing in our thinking, I truly believe that people will be able to relate to each other on much more significant levels. Acceptance and understanding open doors and form relationships. 

I understand that I may sound preachy. I probably do because I sound that way even to myself. Please understand though that I write this not to seem morally superior or to force my beliefs on anyone, but because it is an issue about which I am truly passionate. 

I’d like to close with a quote that I hope will show the importance of being open and kind to others:

“Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.” - C.S. Lewis